The Soulmate Experience

The Soulmate Experience:
A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships, Joe Dunn and Mali Apple (2011, read 2012)

“Your beliefs create your experience.”

This was another good relationship book, but nothing cosmic. Still, it’s worth reviewing annually or semi-annually with a willing partner. I also liked it for its overall view on life, where your lens-es through which you see the world determine how you’re going to experience things.

There’s a huge section a little more than halfway through the document on fifty different options for doing something “new” together in a relationship.

Finally, there is a huge wealth of information at the end of the book – I’ve highlighted but not formatted it. Well worth reviewing with a partner, especially the “transformational” and “discussion” questions.

 

Your beliefs create your experience. If a belief you have isn’t bringing you the experience you desire, you have three choices. You can continue to feel disappointed and resentful every time life doesn’t live up to your belief. You can trade up, replacing your belief with one that has a better chance of bringing you what you want. Or you can let go of your belief altogether and choose to accept life exactly as it shows up.

Although it’s true you have little control over most of what happens in the world, you have tremendous influence over your experience of the events and circumstances of your life. When you can really grasp this idea, life becomes much less of a struggle.

When someone expresses an opinion that’s different from yours, ask yourself, What is there for me to learn here? This will greatly reduce the need to justify your position or defend yourself in some way. Instead, you’re likely to find yourself authentically connecting with this person and genuinely interested in understanding their perspective. What is there for me to learn here? — Joe Dunn and Mali Apple, The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships, pg. 72, loc. 970-72

If you and your partner feel that you have a higher purpose for being together but haven’t put it into words, or if you haven’t ever considered what your relationship’s higher purpose might be, you may want to explore the idea. Consider this question: Is there something we’re both passionate about that we could contribute to the world—and, in the process, enhance our own relationship? — Joe Dunn and Mali Apple, The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships, pg. 123, loc. 1505-8